Let’s get real, most family’s ideas of a perfect day together does not include a photo shoot. Nope! When a parent hears “family photos” it can sometimes be an automatic trigger for feelings of anxiety, chaos, worry, or even complete dread. But, I’d love to flip this script! After experiencing several shoots in my studio - and being a mother, which is honestly one of my most valuable qualities as a photographer ;) - here is my advice on how to best prep yourself with realistic expectations for a successful and relaxed family session.

1 - Let go of “perfect”

A photo is not good or memorable if it’s perfect. Let me say that again: A photo is not good or memorable if it’s perfect.

A photo is good and memorable because it is a capture of who you are in this moment. It is a depiction of you and your real family.

If you walk into my studio expecting a calm, serene, perfectly still and posed session for you and your family, chances are your kids will act exactly opposite of how you hope they will. I mean, isn’t that just reality? You know this and I know this and I’d love for us both to be on the same page ahead of time.

My goal is to aim for real and not perfect. I want to capture the perfectly imperfect moments now because one day your 2 year old that never stops moving will become a 9 year old that we don’t have to chase around the studio.

Your family is already magic to me and I can promise that the moments we capture in my camera are going to be magic also. Even if you have to hold them upside down to get them into a photo.

2 - Remember why you booked a family photo session

When you book a family session, there is always a reason why.

Maybe you want the perfect image to pair next to another framed photo in your home, or perhaps you want a certain look to your holiday card, or maybe you just honestly want a photo to post on Instagram or Facebook. But if we were to take away all of the extra fluff that you use your photos for and bring it down to the foundation of why you booked a shoot to begin with, might I argue that these images are ultimately to capture the memories of the people around you?

I’ll go ahead and answer that for myself, YES!

I completely understand that the pressure is on for you to have a “magical family photo” from your session with me and when an energetic toddler is running all over the studio, it can seem overwhelming and impossible.

So my advice is to start from a place of gratitude for the memories you will capture during this shoot and love on those around you. If you can hold fast to these two concepts, your time with me will feel more calm and will be successful.

3 - Be realistic when it comes to your kids

A motherhood photography blog that I love wrote this so perfectly: “Make sure that there are clear expectations. Kid sare going to be kids and we can pull every trick we have, but at the end of the day we can only capture what we have in front of the camera. There can be magic in the chaos!”

These words cannot be more true. Kids will be kids. I’m not entirely sure what your experience may be with your own kids, but with mine there is very little I can do once their mind is made up to do something else.

The more I photograph other mothers and families with young children, the more relaxed and flexible I have become during photo sessions. Now don’t get me wrong, I have a very specific shot list and plan that I work through the moment you walk into the studio. So know that while I don’t think I’ve seen it all yet, I have seen A LOT of different kinds of kids and there are very few circumstances that will completely derail your photos.

Here’s my straightforward advice: have low expectations for your kids, keep your attitude positive, let them show off their personality, trust me to take beautiful photos even if it feels chaotic and loud, and plan on some really great bribes/rewards for your kiddos (which leads me to my last point…)

4 - Plan on bribery

For real though. I need you all to go ahead and be okay with this!

I truly want your kids to have a good time and see this experience as fun and special. I mean, I really do want them to WANT to come back every year! ;)

So let’s have a plan for this. What do they love that we can tell them is coming after the shoot? What are you willing to do with them while they are in the studio? Lollipops, Cocomelon on your iphone, saying “Booty!” really loud so they will laugh at me? I have dum dums for grabs when the shoot is over. There are also several ice cream shops and parks located within half a mile of the studio.

And might I suggest keeping the anticipation up and not telling them what their treat is before the session. If you absolutely need to tell them something before the shoot, then allude to a treat coming after. But, save the fun of telling them until you need to during the shoot or surprising them with it after the shoot. If you follow this model, then you and I automatically have the upperhand and can sometimes do a really great job at getting them to cooperate during the photos.

At the end of the day, you are reading this blog or you have booked me to photograph your family for a reason. Trust me, trust the process, let go of “perfect” and allow yourself to have fun, let your kids’ personalities show, remember the importance of capturing these passing moments, and let’s take some beautiful photos of you and your family.

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